Inspiration Interpretation

Sprout, You are growing up so fast. I feel like lately, I have nothing else to write to think upon to wonder about but you and your exponential growth. It seems like every moment is so fleeting, so gone so fast, so beyond my grasp when we were RIGHT THERE just one minute ago. One second ago, you were just a thought... I remember, sprout holding my belly when times were tough, and we didn't know How we would make this work... We just knew we would. Because you were coming, and it was all up to us. The fight, the struggle, it meant more since you would be here Your Mommy- crying, I remember, couldn't find a job, pounding my head wondering why all of a sudden a growing bump meant I wasn't a good enough secretary I would be out for so long, so soon, nobody wanted it. My degree may as well have been a crumb, I offered it out but it was not taken- Not accepted. I felt rotted, wronged, failed and failing... I wanted to do what I needed to for you- but nobody would give me a chance

I feel like there's an anchor crushing my chest. It's so hard to watch you going through this, to sit by your side and see you suffering, and know that there's nothing I can do to help ease this pain. I can do what I am doing, and nothing more. Nothing more significant. I can listen. I can plan. I can help, do more around the house. I can try to be patient. But some days, like today, it gets hard. This illness isn't just affecting you... It's all of us. I pray that once this is over, it's over for good. We can move on, be the happy little family that we are without worry that we might lose you sooner than expected... Some days, like today, I feel crushed by the weight of this responsibility. I have to hear your complaints knowing that we can't yet make a move. I have to be strong, when what I would really like to do is go to the bathroom, sit on the floor, curl in a ball and sob. I have to hear it without getting angry, even though it's trying on me to h