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Thoughts on Friends....

Sometimes I feel that these *fake* friends I find on the internet understand me more than many who have known me for years. I suppose this might be because you can choose to connect with who you like on the net. It might also be because I have grown and am now a different person than I was when I made friends with the others. It's sad, though, when old friendships die. There are a few in particular I keep hoping will be rekindled, like those coals from last night's bonfire that spark again in the morning when you toss a log on... but that doesn't mean I'm willing to do all the work. Friendships aren't meant to be one-sided. People have been fake. Fake friends have been real. I've connected with those I never thought I might. Life is a true mystery, a whirlwind roller coaster and I am along for the ride. So much for a poem a day. Here's to random thoughts, renewal, love and connection- wherever we find it.
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Patience and Perseverance

I feel like there's an anchor crushing my chest. It's so hard to watch you going through this, to sit by your side and see you suffering, and know that there's nothing I can do to help ease this pain. I can do what I am doing, and nothing more. Nothing more significant. I can listen. I can plan. I can help, do more around the house. I can try to be patient. But some days, like today, it gets hard. This illness isn't just affecting you... It's all of us. I pray that once this is over, it's over for good. We can move on, be the happy little family that we are without worry that we might lose you sooner than expected... Some days, like today, I feel crushed by the weight of this responsibility. I have to hear your complaints knowing that we can't yet make a move. I have to be strong, when what I would really like to do is go to the bathroom, sit on the floor, curl in a ball and sob. I have to hear it without getting angry, even though it's trying on me to h...
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Ten Sticky Fingers By Jaden Brulotte 8-13-08 Ten sticky fingers reaching up at me dragging red fruit concoction across my white-white shirt but it doesn't matter when you gap-toothed grin at me... To be so young to be so innocent to be so vulnerable so trusting so ambivalent to what happens in the world while you explore, you remember, you soak up experiences like a sponge. you say hi you say bye-bye and today, you said "I love you". To melt my heart with three little words. To me- to be your guardian like those angels they say dangle overhead, they say watching, they say keeping us safe... It's the most important job that I will ever have- to tend to care to love and be there to hold your hand... and yes, even to say "NO" to shelter you from being hurt, to keep you from falling, like those tears that drip from the corners of your eyes when I say it, but someday you will understand... Someday, I will watch ...
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