Coupons are
my crack.
I get
all sweaty-handed, nervous, pit of stomach lurching like tossing up lunch
handing them over, waiting... nervous
like a criminal, waiting,
like an addict, jonesing- hoping
the register won't beep.
Won't reject
my offer, my credit, my coupon
money in my pocket
Hoping it won't
call attention to me
the other shoppers behind me
Tsk, tsking...
looking over my shoulder, TSK TSK.
wondering
GOD, HOW MANY DOES SHE HAVE?
HOW LONG WILL I HAVE TO WAIT?!
I flash an apologetic
smile, an I'm sorry in disguise...
but I won't back down... I need my fix, you see
Like I said, money in my pocket- it's all money, and it's good to me
And I am revived, resuscitated, happiness renewed
When I see
What I get
Double, no TRIPLE, sometimes MORE
worth my money. I get
$105 worth of groceries for a mere $54.
I get $27 worth of items
for only $8.
You can hate me, but I'm grinning,
gloating on my way
FLOATING out the door
knowing I just saved enough for my daughter's new toy
And you are back there, pissed off
You can pretend it's at me, I won't mind
Because it's just solace I find
In my receipt slashed, and you standing there- abashed,
paying FULL PRICE.
my crack.
I get
all sweaty-handed, nervous, pit of stomach lurching like tossing up lunch
handing them over, waiting... nervous
like a criminal, waiting,
like an addict, jonesing- hoping
the register won't beep.
Won't reject
my offer, my credit, my coupon
money in my pocket
Hoping it won't
call attention to me
the other shoppers behind me
Tsk, tsking...
looking over my shoulder, TSK TSK.
wondering
GOD, HOW MANY DOES SHE HAVE?
HOW LONG WILL I HAVE TO WAIT?!
I flash an apologetic
smile, an I'm sorry in disguise...
but I won't back down... I need my fix, you see
Like I said, money in my pocket- it's all money, and it's good to me
And I am revived, resuscitated, happiness renewed
When I see
What I get
Double, no TRIPLE, sometimes MORE
worth my money. I get
$105 worth of groceries for a mere $54.
I get $27 worth of items
for only $8.
You can hate me, but I'm grinning,
gloating on my way
FLOATING out the door
knowing I just saved enough for my daughter's new toy
And you are back there, pissed off
You can pretend it's at me, I won't mind
Because it's just solace I find
In my receipt slashed, and you standing there- abashed,
paying FULL PRICE.
oh - you are goo d- I saved $35 yesterday in coupons - and that is the most I have ever saved! I was so proud of myself!
ReplyDeleteI've heard of these magical coupons that you guys have in the USA and frankly I am quite jealous! Ours save us no more than 25 cents to $2 (if you are lucky) on 1 item.
ReplyDeleteI too would be floating out the door saving that kind of money at the cash :)!